Iconoclast -- New Aurora Guide

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Iconoclast -- New Aurora Guide

The E-Dist
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Sure, everyone knows about New Bourbon. But that's just fer starters. The E-Dist is THE party place in New Aurora. It's 15 blocks of nightclubs and bars. It's 24 hours of kickass music and fun. It's lights, and music, and smells, and sensations. It's...well...you'll hafta see for yourself.

THE VAMPYRE'S BYTE (7 Vamp Alley, off East Cwelan, southeast of the East Caduceus; 503/555-7973). OK, forget the pretentious spelling. The Vampyre's Byte is actually a pretty cool place to hang out. This converted warehouse has had its guts ripped out, not unlike the occasional tourist who wanders a bit too far down the alley into gang territory. Lights, sounds, sunken dance floor, two levels. The basics, but so much more. Atmosphere, I said. Atmosphere. This is what your bedroom would look like if a wild animal ripped out your throat and spread you around the room, with some green spores thrown in for good measure. This place bleeds energy after dark.

NEVERLAND (700 East Cwelan, near East Caduceus; 503/555-7777). Currently holding the title for the most popular nightclub in the city, Neverland is two levels of absolute intensity. With two bars, a coffee bar, two different dance floors and two totally wild epxeriences. The place is packed all day and all night--get there early on the weekends or you might get turned away because of the crowd. Any way you look at it, there's no better way to kick off a weekend of nightclubbing.

LIQUID REALITY (37 South Ebon, near Cwelan; no phone ). Compared to some of the loud, bright and crowded bars in the E-dist Party District, Liquid Reality is downright sedate. The music tends towards ambient, as does the lighting and the crowd. A good place to duck into if you're trying to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city, but you're not quite ready to go to sleep yet. There's plenty of action here if you know where to look.

ALTAR EGO (100 East Lamneth, near Ebon; no phone ). Not too many clubs bother with live music nowadays, but the Altar Ego specializes in live music. The altar-shaped bar and caged-in stage give the bar a wild, zoo-like atmosphere mixed with the slightly sacreligious; just the right atmosphere for local and national acts to jam in. The drinks are cheap, the women are cheaper, and the seats are damn uncomfortable, but when you're going out to kick ass and moshe around, who cares about any of that.

THE DARK DREAMING (320 East Lamneth; 503/555-5679). Loud. Very loud. And dark. But you could guess that from the name. The Dark Dreaming is a goth club in the literal sense of the word--humans are welcome, but they'll get funny stares. The msuic's industrial and techno, the drinks are strong, and the crowd is aggressive. A great place to take out your aggressions, or to sulk in a corner and feel sorry for yourself. Sweet dreams are not made of these.

PURPLE HAZE (1 Haze Alley, between Phantasm and Lucas; no phone ). Redefining the concept of the "patio bar," the Purple Haze has decided to get rid of the bar altogether. That's right--this bar is actually an alley that was converted into a small, narrow club. No roof, no walls, no doors. Just great drinks, a loyal crowd, and amazing atmosphere. They come from around the world to visit this place, and for good reason.

O'MALLEY'S TAVERN (1 Tavern Alley, between New Bourbon and Marilyn; 503/555-5693). One of a very few traditional Irish Pubs in the city, O'Malley's is by far the best. Katherine serves em up tall and thick all night long, and there's always someone willing to buy you another round if you'll sing Danny Boy along with him. Never too crowded, but always enough company. A nice little joint in a bad location.

WALLMAN'S BAR AND GRILLE (6 Rainbow Plaza, off Phantasm; phone ). One of the oldest buildings in the city, Wallman's has seen it all and lived to tell about it. Federico Wallman's the third Wallman to operate the place, which is still serving up the same select drinks and eats that they did 70 years ago. Be sure to stop in for a cold one while you're bar hoppping. I guarantee you'll want to stay for a couple more.

FUGGLES (22 North New Bourbon, near Hatan; 503/555-3844). Fuggles is sort of a guilty pleasure. If you're part of the crowd that goes there for more than food and entertainment, there's more pleasure and less guilt involved. But for the rest of us, it's just a lot of fun to see great entertainment, enjoy great drinks and dine on great food (when the kitchen's open). Check out Fuggles at least once. If you like what you see, stick around. If not, well, don't say we didn't warn you.

EL DORADO (40L South New Bourbon; 503/555-4653). Normally, I'd be hesitant to use the word "Rip-snortin'" in public, but El Dorado warrants it. You won't find a rowdier little CW bar anywhere this side of Texas. Complete with a huge bar, a mechanical bull, a pool room and a wrestling pit, this bar has everything you need to keep your weekends lively. And when you taste the munchies their kitchen pumps out, you'll wanna stay all week long.

THIRST DOWN (1 Thirst Alley, near New Bourbon; 503-555-7778). Sports bar, shmortz bar. Right? Wrong. Thirst Down does it a little bit different. Sure, they've got dozens of television screens, but instead of watching the same game 25 different ways, you'll be able to watch 25 different sporting events at once. And we're not talking football and wrestling here. Golf, tennis, even gymnastics can be seen on the big screens in the bar. So no matter what sport you're into, Thirst Down serves it up along with cold brew and good times.

DELTA WHISTLE (999 South New Bourbon; no phone ). If the E-dist is a pleasure cruise, then Delta Whistle is the anchor. That is, it's important to the survival and stability of the ship, but it's often mired in darkness and muck, and it's often forgotten. But that doesn't matter to the regulars who flock to the Whistle every night to hear some of the best delta blues in the Pacific Northwest. The food, music and blues are all transplanted right from Nawlins, so you KNOW they're authentic. Stop in once, and you'll be back again and again.

Black & Gold
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When people mention the old "Black and Gold," they're not talking college football. They're talking about one of the most popular neighborhoods for the upper crust technophile crowd. Most of these nightclubs stretch the limits of the term "nightclub," and some don't even have music, alcohol or dancing. Then why go to a techie club? Man, if you gotta ask, you're not with the in crowd, are you? Everyone KNOWS techie types like to stay up late. Doing what? Never you mind.

THE ATOMIC (11 Mercury Road, near Steel; 503/555-1122). This club is one of those places that probably would have done a lot better if it'd been plopped down in a better location. Or maybe it's the fact that it's a neighborhood bar that's trying to look and sound like the big guys, what with the fancy lights and throbbing music. Oh well. Whatever the case, The Atomic is certainly unique. If you're looking for an intimate place to listen to some good tunes, but you're not into dancing and raving around, you won't find a better place than The Atomic. Sidenote--this is rumored to be the bar that "inspired" that famous First One's Free song. What, you don't know who FOF are? Forget it. If you don't know, you never will.

HARD DRIVE CAFE (304 East Amber, near Ebon; 503/555-3040). A bit more exclusive than the other clubs around Black & Gold, the Hard Drive Cafe serves up more techie talk than food and drink. it's not really a bar, and it's not evern really a cafe. It's more of a gathering place for those of a technical persuasion to share ideas and practice their skills on the terminals helpfully strewn around the place. Despite the fact that it seems "boring," the HDC's open 24/7, and is busy the entire time. Stop in--if they'll let you in the door, that is.

GROUNDED (377 North Ebon, near Amber; 503/555-2468). When you first walk into Grounded, you'll probably think the place is in the process of rewiring. This is not the case. Half the dangling lights are decorative, but the other half is the result of several dozen technicians trying out new ideas and rebuilding each others' equipment. Grab a cold one, brush off a seat and talk shop. And be sure to wear rubbr soled shoes--the club's not called "Grounded" for nothing.

THE FLAPPER'S CLUB (10 East Amber, near Hatan; 503/555-4757). Always wanted to live in the roaring 1920's? Ever wondered what it'd be like to become an old-fashioned gangster or moll? The minute you walk into this small club, you'll think you're in a different era. From the soft lighting to the antique-looking furniture, beaded curtains and wood floors, it's a great place if you like an intimate yet fast-paced atmosphere. The only music here is good old fashioned 20's and 30's jazz, music that draws you from your seat and begs you to dance. Regardless, the dance floor is never crowded, and you'll always find a seat at the bar, which has a fairly good selection, from margaritas to daquiris to the best martinis in town. The perfect place to enjoy after work drinks, or, if you're in an "alternative profession," to meet with clients and get work started.

CLUB OVERDRIVE (39U West Amber, near Hatan; no phone ). One of the most unique clubs in the entire city, CO is little more than a few portions of the Skywalk ripped down and rearranged to form a platform above Amber. More terminals than drinks, but the place is still a nice place to hang out with the city's technological elite. The view is dizzying, and the conversation can be even more so. If you're looking for information, this is a good place to start, as this is a favorite daemon hangout.

LIMBO (113 West Amber, near Umbrae; 503/555-1146). The name suggests nothing, a bland place where nothing happens, but all that is in contrast to the actual truth. The music is loud, the alcohol is stong and the people are allways up to something. Cables, wires, and other bits and pieces hang from the ceiling giving the place a somewhat trashed look. Despite the mopey people, spilled alcohol and darkness, Limbo is definitely a safe haven for the technological elite.

YAHOO'S (505 North New Bourbon, near Mall; no phone ). Despite a bad reputation as a hangout for the under-16 crowd (especially Ollies), Yahoos is actually a pretty decent place. Yeah, the drinks tend to be a little sugary, and the color scheme is way on the other side of outrageous, but the company's a lot more intelligent than you'll find in a corner pub, and a lot less likely to knock you out in the bathroom to steal your wallet. But that's what's nice about the techie crowd. They all seem so nice. Emphasis on SEEM.

THE HOLODECK (13 Narcis Drive, near North Caduceus; no phone ). Although the owner won't reveal where he got the idea from, it's clear that the entire concept for this bar comes from some obscure movie or long-forgotten television show. Even the customers, who flock here in oddly colored outfits to quaff glowing drinks, don't reveal what it is they're doing here. The crowd is a mixture of Goth and Techie, so if you're into yellow lines and obscure references to Vulcans, this is your gig.

SPROCKETS (888 Narcis Drive, near East Caduceus; no phone ). Ravers, reavers, reapers...everyone's welcome to dance the weekend away at this permanent rave. The mind-alterants flow freely, the music's always jamming, and the light and pyro show is simply amazing. Every week features a different guest DJ, including some of Eurocorp and Asiacorp's finest mixmasters. It can get a little wild, but most of the time it's just a nice and easy feeling. It helps, of course, if you're heavily sedated.

Southside
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When you take your clothes to the laundromat, do you separate them into "blacks" and "grays" instead of "colors" and "whites"? If so, then you've found a home in the Southside. Granted, not everything here is all doom and gloom, but it sure is a great place to sulk and look dramatic. Most of the clubs here are stretched along Lamneth and Hatan, but like always the boundaries are a little uneven. How will you know you're in Southside? You'll know.

DIANA'S TAVERN (3L East Lamneth, near Hatan; no phone ). Maybe you know that Diana's the name of an ancient goddess of the hunt, and maybe you didn't. Whatever the case, if you're into huntin', this exclusive club is the place to go. I hunt, therefore I am...I am what? If you don't know, and they won't let you in, trust me, you don't wanna be there. The crowd is heavily shifter, and though things are usually pretty laid back, you don't wanna be around when the hackles go up and the gloves go down. The back billiard room can be a little stuffy and smoky at times, but it's still a great place to hang out if you're waiting for things to cool off a bit (if you know what I mean).

SILVER VERSES CAFE (831 South Hatan, near South Caduceus; 503/555-7587). Upon entering this quaint little cafe, one might wonder where the bar is. Stop looking--there is none. What you will find is people from all walks of life, gathered to express themselves in the most primitive sort of way - with the spoken word. Poets wander the hardwood floor gazing into the sky or looking to the ground to try and find anwsers to questions everybody has, but nobody asks. Others shout out from chairs phrases that come to mind, or quotes from the great poets of the past. The hunger for knowledge and the thirst for great poetry is all you'll find fulfilled here, as the only food is creativity, and the only drink imagination.

THE COFFEE CRYPT (379 South Hatan, near Lamneth; no phone ). Lovely flickering candles and dimly lit chandeliers set the mood for this dark, slightly foreboding coffee house. Comfortable overstuffed couches and soft plush rugs make this a wonderful place to read poetry. The clientele is quiet and reserved, reflecting the coffee shop itself. You won't find any Slirk's here. As is the case with most places that have been around a while, this cafe has its fair share of secrets: a mysterious staircase, next to a full bookshelf leads to fasinating wonders beneath. A word of caution; beware the bouncers. You don't want to use the word "sucker" around here.

STIMULATIONS (Dirtwalk, west and north of East Caduceus; no phone ). The cramped, dank atmosphere of this tiny coffee bar matches that of the Dirtwalk outside. Yes, this one's deep, deep underground, but it's worth a trip. Comfy couches and chairs sit around the walls, with plenty of tables and bookshelves strewn about the oddly shaped room to form small cubicles, perfect for private meetings and quiet reading. The coffee's always hot and tasty, and the company's always interesting at Stimmie's.

THE DIM (77L West Lamneth, near Hatan; 503/555-3466). The Dim's a fairly new addition to the city, and as such it has yet to pick up a large crowd. All the better. The Dim's designed to look like a dark crypt, and it's as quiet as one inside. Whether you're looking to sulk in peace, or you need a place to sit and chat with some friends, the Dim's a great choice. It picks up on Friday nights, but there's still plenty of room to move around inside, and plenty of corners to slink into.

REPOSE (350 South Umbrae, near Lamneth; no phone ). Ah, Repose. There's no more peaceful place in the whole city, and that's not an exaggeration. Peaceful ambient music, soft lighting and incense wafting through the air will put anyone in a meditative mood, especially if you're one of the savant crowd who hang out here regularly. The drinks are all NA, running the gamut from vegetable juices to herbal teas, so you won't be clouding your perceptions in any way as you take in the atmosphere. "Nice" sums it all up.

CATHEDRAL (16 Stoker Lane, near Hyde; 503/555-7729). The Cathedral is exactly what it sounds like--a converted cathedral. Now, though, the altar is the bar and the pews have been ripped out to make room for a dance floor. The Sangria's better than anywhere else, and the little coffee shop off to the side of the floor's always got some tasty treats. The place can get a little wild at times, but that's what you're looking for, isn't it? This is currently one of the top 5 nightclubs in the city, according to several surveys.

Jollytown
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Can you say "beer"? Good, I knew you could. There's not much more to Jollytown, the moniker that got thrown at the northwest party district a few years ago. It stuck. But don't go thinking that "jolly" has anything to do with clowns and cupcakes. More like "jolly" as in "Jolly Roger." This isn't always the best place to be caught, dead or alive, on a Friday night. But if you're in the mood for some kickass fun, this is the place for you. Just pray the ass getting kicked isn't yours.

GAUGE 80 (332 North Umbrae, near Amber; no phone ) If you like big women and bigger men, Gauge 80 is the place for you. Cram packed with the muscle crowd, the Gauge is a good place to score some horse testosterone or maybe just meet a work-out partner. The atmosphere is a bit lacking, never any music, and, let's face it, conversation is not the strong point of most of its patrons. But if all you want to do is show off your deltoids, this is the spot for you. Just follow the smell of animal sweat. Oh, and don't bring any explosive devices inside. They're a little touchy about that now.

THE JESTER'S NIGHTCAP (326 West Cwelan, near Hatan; no phone ). If you are one of the few fans of nostalgia drugs, you will love the Jester's Nightcap. Imagine dropping a couple o' hits of LSD and wandering through an endless maze of warp-mirror images of yourself. Though the Nightcap is a bit selective about its clientele, those that can find a way in will probably also be unbalanced enough to enjoy the reality-shattering atmosphere. Besides, it takes a nutcase to really appreciate the music of the late 20th century, which is what you'll usually find pumping out of the cleverly concealed speakers.

BARBAROSSA (333 West Cwelan, near Hatan; no phone ). If you've ever wondered if Mom was right when she said "If you don't stop making that face it'll stay like that," this place is for you. Barbarossa is a freak show, period. But hey, freaks need love too. But enough about the freaks, this night-spot does have some redeeming features; namely the excellent food and drink. Assuming you can keep it down. There's description-defying dancing as well, which you really need to see for yourself. Imagine something like a cross between a lepers' orgy and a car wreck, and you'll get the idea.

CLUB RAGE (500 Acerbic; no phone ). Despite a bad location and a bad reputation for being the center of some of the city's largest riots, Club Rage has consistently ranked amongst the Top 10 clubs in the city. Why? Hard to say, but it has something to do with atmosphere. Loud music, darkness, smoke machines...it's all been done before, but somehow Club Rage makes it all seem so much better. Oh...the fact that international recording artists "Paragon" serve as the house band when they're not on tour helps a lot, too. Stop on down...and break a leg for me.

KILGOUR'S PUB (220 Acerbic, near North Caduceus; no phone ). Is it Scottish? Is it Irish? Is it English? Who cares. It's cool. First appearances can actually be decieving, since Kilgour's is kinda tame most nights. But then you notice the broken furniture. And the scarred faces of its patrons. Yeah, Kilgour's is tame MOST of the time, but you don't wanna be there when someone decides to vent their anger at the system. Or maybe you do. Who am I to judge?

LUCIFER'S PIT (66 Lucifer Alley, south of Steel-Dawn Square; 503/555-6666). If you want a nice, pleasant evening out with your lady love, with fine food, excellent music, and a romantic atmosphere, forget the Pit. Instead what you get is a trip to the 6th Circle of Hell, complete with live music, hordes of amphetamine crazed dance-freaks, slumming corporate suits mixing with steroid popping street muscle, and a dash of the old style Mafia thrown in. For those of you seeking less... pedestrian exploits, there's a chance to watch (or participate in) blood-sports, and if you can find him, businessman LeRoi James can introduce you to any of several lovely ladies in his employ. This place can be a bit on the rough side, but there's a lot to do. And if you want to do it at the Pit, you'd better bring your ugly stick, cause they don't take shit, and they DON'T take Americorp Express.

Lucifer's Pit, a popular nightspot and known gang hangout.