Iconoclast -- New Aurora Guide
Upper Crust
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Looking to impress that special someone? Want someplace to show off your new suit, even if it means it's at the risk of dripping cocktail sauce on your tie? New Aurora's got plenty of high-end restaurants, perfect for that special girlfriend, client, or both. Be forewarned--everyone else knows about these places, so don't expect to be dining alone.
LE CHATEAU LICORNE (301 North New Bourbon, near Mall; 503/555-1167). One of the most upscale restaurants in New Aurora, and also one of the hardest to get into. Reservations are often made years in advance, with people clamoring to get onto the waiting list in case someone cancels. But it's worth it. The food is incredible, prepared by master chefs, and the dining room is incredibly elegant. Yet despite it all, the atmosphere is hardly pompous, and the wait staff wears sneakers and casual clothing. It's a unique atmosphere you won't find anywhere else.
CORPORATE PERKS (12 East Cwelan, at Nexus Plaza; 503/555-9988). It's funny how little things can get so much bigger. Hey, get those thoughts out of your head buster. I'm talking about success stories, and there's no bigger story than that of Corporate Perks. The concept was simple enough--take a small little coffee shop, drop it down in the middle of the busiest intersection in the city, and let the cash roll in. And it does. But it's not just location that makes Corporate Perks the place to see and be seen. The coffee's always hot. The pastries are fresh, not frozen. And they even use real dairy products, including real milk, real chocolate and real butter. Normally this would make the prices skyrocket, but CP pulls it off. Bravo.
ROTHSCHILDE'S (1919 Olympia Court, Upper City; 503/555-9468). This. Is. It. There is, quite simply, no more elegant dining establishment within a thousand miles. Heck--the bathoom is more elegant than many other expensive restaurants' dining rooms. Where else will you get a live chamber orchestra playing for you while you dine? Where else will you be invited into the kitchen to see your meal prepared? Where else will you be able to get a real beef steak? Probably nowhere. So bring your wallet. Bring your friends' wallet too. Heck--mug a few people along the way. It's expensive, but it's worth it.
STASH & STEIN'S (444 North Marilyn; 503/555-7857). Ah, the Old World. Americans tend to forget about the way things used to be before Europe became Eurocorp, and Eurocorp became an enemy. Sometimes they need to be reminded that just about everyone living in Americorp is descended from a European. And Stash & Stein's is a good reminder. Decor, drinks, appetizers, entrees and desserts...all exquisitely prepared, and all made from imported ingredients using age-old recipes. There's nowhere else in town to get genuine Polish and German food, drink and music, so don't bother looking.
THE GARGOYLE (1001 Olympia Court, Upper City; 503/555-1257). Redefining dinner-theatre, The Gargoyle succeeds where so many others have failed. Decor, food and entertainment blend so perfectly that you almost forget that you're really just sitting in a restaurant. So dig out your best dress blacks, grab your sweetheart and head out for one of the best nights you'll ever have this decade. Words cannot describe the experience well enough - you have to see it for yourself.
HIGH CULTURE (Skywalk, near Saylor Plaza; no phone ). Who would have thought that bacteria could ever be this popular? I'm talking about yogurt, of course. Frozen, unfrozen, partly frozen--it doesn't matter. It all sells like...well... like yogurt, actually. Which is to say, it's popular. And High Culture is one of the most popular places in the city to get high on culture. They mix the flavors right there in front of you, and there's dozens to choose from. The price isn't bad, considering it involves dairy products, but it's high enough for a snack joint to qualify for the Upper Crust segment of this page. There are cheaper snacks around, but are they better? Thousands of people a day say "no."
SUCCORTASH (633 East Cwelan, near East Caduceus; 503/555-8349). Vegetarian cuisine can be dull. Potatoes. Peas. Corn. Carrots. Ho-hum. But Succortash makes it something special. Everything here, even if it's just a plate of fried potatoes, is prepared with care, and every plate tastes a little different. Nothing's pre-measured or packaged. It's all cooked up fresh while you watch. This does mean on occasion that the food may taste a little off, but most of the time it's top quality, tasty veggie cuisine to die for.
Stand-up Sit-downs
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You want something a little more nutritious than a cup of lard, but you don't have tons of credits to spare. No problem. New Aurora caters to all needs, especially when it comes to food. Whether it's a national chain, or a local business that deals in international food, you'll find it...if you look hard enough. Hopefully this list will be a start.
CONQUISTADORES (220 North Marilyn, near Hatan; 503/555-3478). OK, I'll be the first to admit I'm confused. The food's definitely Spanish, but the decor's an amalgam of velvet bullfighting scenes and busts of conquistadors. My advice--forget the decor and focus on the food. It's not too pricey, considering what you get, and it is certainly delicious. But if you're the sort of person who thinks that Spanish food begins and ends with tacos, then you're better off staying home.
JASMINE DREAMS (Dirtwalk, near West Caduceus; no phone ). Where else can you get peanut sauce for peanuts? Nowhere. Ok, maybe the prices aren't TOTALLY dirt-cheap. But the food is well-worth it, even if they do go overboard on the peanuts and peppers once in a while. This is, without a doubt, the best Thai restaurant in the city. Don't even bother looking anywhere else.
CYPRUS GARDEN (603 Waite, near Waite-Ryder Square; no phone ). Are you looking for something Greek? Are you looking for Lebanese? Well, if you're a bad speller, you'll find the kinky sex you're looking for in the Black Light District. But if you're looking for great food, Cyprus Garden has you covered. The souvlaki is to die for, and if you're looking for genuine Lebanese cuisine, this is the only place in the city you're going to find it. The decor may not be fabulous, but you can always eat with your eyes closed.
THE LUSITANIC (Dirtwalk, near North Caduceus; no phone ). Seafood so good, you'd swear New Aurora was on the coast. Seriously--this is better than fish markets in Boston and Seattle. Fresh fish and shellfish, served up quick and tasty. The decor is awful. The location is vile. But if you can find it, it'll all be worthwhile. (Hey--I'm a poet, and I didn't know it!)
THE INDIAN OVEN (1 Indian Alley, between South Orion & Gestalt; no phone ). Hot. I mean it. Not just the food, but the interior as well. Maybe they decided that to truly appreciate Indian food, you had to be dining inside an oven. Who knows. But let's push that aside for a moment--the food really is worth the uncomfortable climate. Nowhere else in the city will you find raita this good, and the tandoori chicken is just to die for. And how could I forget the kheer--you'll want seconds and thirds. Nice place to stop for lunch, too--it's never that busy, so the food's served rather promptly.
CASTLE ZA (20 Parry Street, near North Hatan; 503/555-9292). What can I say. Cross a pizzeria with a fast food restaurant and you get pizza that tastes like it was made at a fast food restaurant. Now don't get me wrong--some people actually prefer a pizza from the Castle. I don't. But if you like the pan-style stuff they serve here, or you're looking for a decent place to get a meal that won't break the bank, you could do worse than Castle Za.
BABY Q'S (50 South Umbrae, near Cwelan; 503/555-2271). What's the Q stand for in Baby Q's? Is is quality? Quantity? Quirky? Who knows? Who cares? There's only one reason people come to Baby Q's, and that's for the BBQ sauce. It's on everything, from fries to onion rings to burgers. If you like it hot, you'll love it at Baby Q's. If you don't, I suggest you try something a little more tame. Like a jalapeno shake.
Quick N' Dirty
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Who's got time to eat? You do, chum. If there's one thing you can say about New Aurora, it's fast. Fast food. Fast business. Fast women, but that's another story. Whether you're lookin' for pizza, lo mein, spanakopita or just a good ol' hot dog, you'll find it just a few blocks away. There's no way to list 'em all here, but here's a sampling of some fast food joints around town. Consider it an appetizer.
THE FOOD COURT (New Aurora Mall, 3rd floor). Yes, it's just another food court, but it's an established tradition in good ol' NA. First date? Food court. Important Client? Food court. Breaking up? Food court. Plenty of variety, reasonably low prices, and lots of company to eat with. If you want class, this ain't it. If you want privacy, go somewhere else. If you want food, chow down.
FROSTEE'S (Slurry Plaza; 503/555-4233). Frostee's has gotten a bad rap. Sure, they do have a bad habit of moving into bustling locations regardless of what's currently there, but they've always served decent food and ice cream. In New Aurora, the unfortunate location is Slurry Plaza, a marvel of engineering (see below) that clashes with the loud stylings of Frostee's. Push that all aside--if you're looking for a quick, cheap meal, or a tasty dessert, then you can't go wrong at Frostee's. You might go blind, but you can't go wrong.
FRAPPE'S CART (Downtown New Aurora; 503/555-7287). There's two things people think about eating food off a stick--"How sick" and "Give me some." Meeting Frappe is like meeting Santa Claus, only to find out Santa's selling drugs. Not that Frappe's a bad guy; he's not. But there's something "bad" about buying food from a cart that just makes you keep coming back for more. And since Frappe's been around long enough to grandfather the current "no vendor" regulations downtown, this is your only chance to get it while it's hot. Oh, and the thing with the rats...he's only kidding. I think. Give him a call on his cell phone and ask. Maybe he's heading your way right now.
ANTONIO'S PIZZERIA (102 South Marilyn; 503/555-7437). For as popular a food as pizza is, you'd think there'd be lots of places to get a good slice of za. But alas, for some reason there's not a lot of places that still know how to do it right (you know who you are). Luckily, Tony's does it the old fashioned East Coast way, with loads of cheese, tomato sauce, spices and, of course, greasy toppings. Yum...you can just hear those arteries clogging, can't you? But when it's this good, who cares? Eat in, take-out and delivery available 24/7.
FLAPJACKER'S (110 East Amber, near Ebon; 503/555-2253). Ah, the pancake. Simple, and yet capable of such complexity. Eternal, but it never seems to last very long on your plate. Pancake houses come and go, but Flapjacker's has stood the test of time, thanks partly to the fact that you can stop in any time of day or night and get a plateful of pancakes within a few minutes. Then you get to top them yourself from a buffet table loaded with goodies. It's almost too good to be believed. So don't take my word for it. Check 'em out yourself.
DILLY DELI (501 South Hatan; no phone ). Imagine that someone picked up a deli from New York City, moved the whole thing across the country, and opened up shop without changing a thing. That's exactly what you get at the Dilly Deli. Everything, from the mustard to the pickles, is imported from New York City, creating that unique deli taste that many have imitated but never duplicated. Try the kugel--it's out of this world.
SAMMICH'S (Skywalk, near Steel-Dawn Square; no phone ). Hard to imagine a sandwich and sub shop standing out in a crowd of dozens, but Sammich's has done exactly that. The unique tastes that come from a blend of common ingredients placed between two slices of bread have to be experienced. Open 24 hours a day, Sammich's is the perfect place for a business lunch, a first date, or anything else you can think up. Pull up a stool, admire the view, and enjoy.
RAZZLE'S PIZZERIA (Dirtwalk, near East Caduceus; 503/555-9876). Delivery anywhere in the dome within 20 minutes. Sound impossible? It's not. The secret is that Razzle's is actually a half dozen pizzerias in one. One location fields all the calls, and then the orders are forwarded to the location nearest you. They toss a pizza in the oven and rush it off to you post haste. And how IS the pizza, anyway? Pretty damn good. Give em a call - you won't be disappointed.
